Flower Sasuke
by armysugakookie
Summary: Chakra Flower, a type of flower that can make your wish come true when you infuse it with chakra. Sai buys one for his boyfriend. Naruto wishes to see Sasuke. The flower grows a Sasuke face. Hilarity ensues.
1. It Talks

**Chapter 1 It Talks**

**Chapter Summary:** Sai buys a Chakra Flower for Naruto and it grows a Sasuke face. Needless to say, Sai is not happy.

**AN: Inspired by a SaiNaru fancomic called "Chakra Flower". I saw a translation of it on Baidu Tieba from 2009 and can't find the source of the original creator.**

* * *

Ever since they began living together, Sai has always been the one to do their weekly grocery shopping. He trusts Naruto with his life, but he can't trust him not to spend all their hard-earned cash on cup of noodles, like the first time he goes grocery shopping by himself, and the second time, and the third...

And so, despite his boyfriend's frustrated whines, Sai leaves their house to buy _healthy_ food for the upcoming week. While shopping, he passes by Yamanaka's Flower Shop. The Yamanaka tending the shop isn't Ino, but another lady who Sai has never met before. As soon as she sees him, her eyes light up and she grabs a hold of him as if her life depends on it and then launches into a lengthy recommendation of a new flower she's selling.

By the time Sai returns home, the meat and fish he bought are no longer fresh, but his heart is thumping with excitement when he opens the door.

"I'm back, Naruto. And I got something for you."

Footsteps rapidly approach him. Naruto rounds around the corner and takes the grocery bags from him as Sai reaches down to change into indoor shoes.

"What is it? What did you get?"

Naruto's excited grin brings a smile onto Sai's face as well.

"This." Sai takes out a small package from one of the bags. The package is labeled 'Chakra Flower'. He shakes it, letting the sound of seeds shuffling against each other fill the room. "You know how there're trees that feast on chakra alone? This is a flower that does the same thing."

"Woooow!"

"I'm sure it'd grow into a beautiful flower that you'd love."

Naruto's face reddens slightly.

"Alright! Let's get a flower pot and plant it!"

* * *

The seeds have been planted.

And Naruto has been crouching beside the table and staring at the flower pot for five minutes.

"Ah, I forgot to tell you. The Yamanaka selling the plants said if you infuse the seeds with chakra while thinking of a wish, the wish would come true."

"Really!?"

Seeing the glint of excitement in the blonde's eyes, Sai can't bring it upon himself to tell him how such a thing seems too good to be true.

Naruto claps his hands together, eyes scrunched up in concentration as he mumbles, "Um... Uh... A wish... a wish..."

He has everything he has ever wanted. He's the next-in-line Hokage, he has friends who understands him, a boyfriend who loves him, and a village of people who accepts him for who he is. If there is one thing...

_...I miss Sasuke._

That's the last thought in his mind before he pushes the Kyuubi's chakra into the seeds.

"Would it grow into a flower by tomorrow?"

That night, Naruto asks while they're getting ready for bed.

"Tomorrow is a bit too early."

"Oh come on...!"

* * *

The next day...

It has grown into a flower.

With Sasuke's face.

Sai can feel something inside him breaking as he stares at Flower Sasuke who stares at him back with his signature brooding look and stoic expression.

Without a word, he takes out a BBQ lighter and clicks it on.

_I need to kill it before Naruto wakes up._

"Good morning~ Did it grow into a flower yet?"

Sai flinches when he hears Naruto's sleepy voice behind him. He has been so sickened by the human-faced flower he hasn't even noticed Naruto nearing him.

Sweating bullets, Sai tries to recall the distraction tactics he's read from books as Naruto steadily approaches the disgusting flower while rubbing his eyes and yawning. Before he can decide to whether burn the flower or hide it from view or distract Naruto with a kiss, his lover has come into the flower's direct line of sight.

Naruto's eyes meet Flower Sasuke's dark brooding eyes, and although Sai still has trouble reading the atmosphere, he can sense something change in the air as a faint blush climbs onto Naruto's whiskered cheeks.

"Sa-sasuke..." He murmurs.

"Naruto," Flower Sasuke replies, monotone.

Sai shudders, his nausea growing worse. The voice is a perfect mimicry of Sasuke, and that's not making the situation any better.

Naruto, however, seems to enjoy this turn of event very much, for he sprints towards the flower with wide opened arms, yelling "Saaaaaaasuke!"

"Naaaaaruto..." Flower Sasuke says flatly.

And Sai prompty kicks the flower pot into the air.

"Stupid Sai! What did you do that for!?"

"I'm sorry, Naruto, but I don't think it's a good idea to get too close to that _thing_."

He's on the receiving end of Naruto's wrath for the rest of the day, but it's worth it.

* * *

**AN: I nearly died laughing while reading the comic.**

**Next chapter will be out this weekend. **


	2. It Taunts

**Chapter 2 It Taunts**

**Summary:** Sai tries to prove to Naruto that Flower Sasuke isn't as innocent as it looks.

* * *

"Naruto..."

"Naruto..."

Flower Sasuke has been calling Naruto's name nonstop since it begins to talk.

That's the only thing they've heard it say, and that's most likely the only thing it _knows_ how to say, considering the cause of its existence.

"That...flower. Since he has a mouth... Does that mean he needs to eat?" Naruto asks while they're eating lunch.

"I heard this kind of flower loves to eat Weedeater and Permadeath. Let's feed it some right now."

Sai eagerly pulls out the two bottles from the storage room but unfortunately is stopped before he can pour them into the flower's mouth and end its existence.

"They're both herbicides, dumbass! Are you trying to kill him!?"

Reluctantly, Sai places the two bottles onto their respective spot on the shelf. He swears he sees Flower Sasuke flash him an evil smirk behind Naruto's back when he returns.

"Why don't we just ask him what he wants to eat?" The smirk vanishes instantly when Naruto turns to face it. "Hey Sasuke! What do you wanna eat?"

"Naruto..."

"Naruto..."

"Naruto..."

"That's not gonna work, Naruto. No matter how much it looks like Sasuke, it's still just a flower. It's not going to say anything beside your-"

_"Tomato..."_

"-name."

The room is so quiet Sai can't even hear his own breathing. Is he even breathing?

"Naruto..."

"Naruto..."

Flower Sasuke continues to repeat Naruto's name like a broken recorder, acting as if what just happened hasn't just happened.

Sai and Naruto exchange a tentative glance.

"I'm not the only one who heard that... Right?"

* * *

Sai bought the flower to make Naruto smile.

Naruto does smile.

But this isn't the kind of gift he wants his lover to keep around.

If only there's an easy, _discreet_ way to get rid of it...

Sai snaps a pair of scissors menacingly at Flower Sasuke who continues to chant Naruto's name.

"I could just... accidentally cut it..." The scissors wanders dangerously close to its stem.

"Ugh... Stop," Flower Sasuke _groans_. Brows furrowed and eyes narrowed, it looks _annoyed_ as it slaps the scissors away with a leaf. "Touch me again and I'll kill you."

Sai freezes for a second before he rushes to get Naruto.

"W-Wait, what's going on!?"

Hiding behind the blonde, Sai gives him a light nudge.

"That... flower... can say other things."

"Really!?" Naruto sounds excited, turning to the flower. "What did you say?"

"Naruto..."

Sai brings the scissors to its stem. "Just watch."

"Naruto..."

The metal blades of the scissors glint threateningly.

"Naruto..."

"..."

"Naruto..."

"..."

Call him crazy but Sai definitely sees a gleam of mischief in those emotionless eyes when Naruto turns away to pout at him.

"Liar. He's still saying the same thing."

The evil smirk returns full force when Naruto's facing away.

Frustrated, Sai pinches Flower Sasuke's cheeks and pulls, _hard._ The face contorts into an even more disgusting look as it stretches wide like a rubberband.

"Na...u...o..."

It's still trying to speak.

Satisfaction rises within him when he notices a hint of irritation creep into Flower Sasuke's voice, but it's soon squashed when Naruto's fist slams into his face.

"Stop that! You idiot!"

His face flaring up with pain, Sai lies on the ground and watches helplessly as his own boyfriend discards him for a pot of plant, _plant!_

"I can't believe you would bully a flower!"

Naruto hugs the flower close to his chest. It's turned away so he doesn't see it lifting its chin tauntingly at Sai with a victorious "Hn!"

Seems like it's not going to be easy getting rid of that damn flower...

Sai lifts a finger to his nose gingerly.

_Oh, I'm bleeding._


End file.
